Question on Am I Dating a Narcissist Test

by Mouli Chakraborty
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 “Am I Dating A Narcissist?”: Check Out About the Traits of a Narcissist Personality 

It is said that behind every fragile relationship, there must be some reason hidden. The particular problem we will try to address today is what many denote as an I-centric disorder.

To begin with, let us tell you we all inherit some level of narcissist trait with our persona. I mean, who doesn’t like to talk about themselves? But you should ask Am I dating a narcissist question where the trait continuum stands high and somewhere or the other; you are finding it odd about your partner! Let’s explore more about this topic. 

Read more: Maintaining Sound Mental Health

A True Narcissist Meaning 

narcissist meaning
narcissist meaning

A narcissist individual is someone who has a stronger sense of self-importance, even at the cost of their loved ones. They hold the zest of speaking about themselves for hours, and whether the next person is interested to know about the same does not bother them.

Other than that, they consider themselves gifted and often link themselves with someone of higher status or class. The true narcissist meaning gets even clearer when you observe someone distracted with the fictionary plot of holding unlimited power and success. 

The problem with narcissistic people is that they don’t realize that they are being arrogant and hurting others’ sentiments. 

Read more: Wimpy White Boy Syndrome 

What is a Narcissistic Personality? 9 Criteria 

What is a Narcissistic Personality
What is a Narcissistic Personality

The famous nine criteria by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) have charted out the essential standards to confirm whether am I a narcissist or not! As per DSM-5, you only need to have five of the 9 criteria to confirm the test clinically. Those are: 

  • The self-importance in a grand sense. 
  • Already occupied with the fantasies of holding extraordinary power, brilliance, success order, love, or beauty. 
  • They have a strong belief in the idea that they are special as well as unique. Therefore, they have the imagination to associate themselves with high-status institutions or people. 
  • The urge for extra admiration. 
  • A strong sense of entitlement. 
  • They lack empathy.
  • The IEB or Interpersonally Exploitative Behaviour.
  • They either have a fallout conception of others being envious of them or also feel envy of others. 
  • Often manifests haughty or arrogant behaviours hurting others’ sentiments.

To confirm your apprehension, ‘Am I dating a narcissist or not?’ check out the abovementioned qualities. 

Read more: Golden Child Syndrome

Causes of Narcissistic Behavior (NB)

An NB’s victims have their own grievance story and, if not, can inherit out of genetics. Physiologists are still trying to figure out the exact causes of developing narcissistic behaviour.

While such a disorder can occur in the process of personality development and as a continuum to other mental health disorders. Whatever, be the case, some of the anticipatory reasons behind the narcissistic disorder are as follows- 

●     Past Experience. The victims of narcissism often have bitter pasts when they receive criticisms and unlikely comments from their peer group, teachers, or outsiders. Therefore, such a narcissistic attitude comes from insecurity to prove themselves and eventually becomes a habit. 

●     Family Environment. Constant clashes between parents and kids can generate a discouraging environment. Even excess adoration can be harmful and be the reason behind NB. 

●     Family Inheritance. Some traits, such as Narcissistic Disorder, are passed on through genetics. So, such arrogant behaviour can be because of inherited characteristics.

●     Neurobiological cause. Individuals may develop narcissistic personality disorder when their brains stop functioning efficiently and coordinating with the nervous system.

When parents admire their kids excessively without exposing them to reality and train them with constructive criticism, they develop such characteristics of extra self-importance. 

Read more: Mirror Hand Syndrome

(NPD) Narcissistic Personality Disorder Symptoms

You can’t conclude the ‘am I dating a narcissist’ question unless you are well aware of the NPD symptoms. Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder symptoms vary from person to person. Check out below 

  • They have more than an obvious sense of self-worth. 
  • Often tries to seek attention and requires excessive admiration. 
  • Tries to showcase a superiority complex even if they haven’t achieved much. 
  • Every time, they try to take control of a conversation and turn the dialect in their favour. 
  • Tries to take advantage of others to get what they want ultimately.

Other than the given symptoms, those nine signs charted out by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) are also important indicators to identify a Marxist personality. 

Read more: Hourglass Syndrome With Treatment

Traits of a Narcissist Partner

Am I Dating a Narcissist
Am I Dating a Narcissist

If you are in a narcissistic relationship, it’s truly hard, but that does help in giving your bond some context. You can correct your partner only when you know what they are going through. Checklist on the important traits of your narcissistic boyfriend or girlfriend. 

●     Comes out as too strong even at the beginning of the relationship. As shared earlier, narcissistic behaviour has a special inclination towards grandiosity. They try to relate with those people they feel of superior class, beauty, or talents. For the sake of it, they will over-compliment you and would make you feel special even at the initial few takeouts. They will put effort into framing superficial bonds, which is too early in a relationship. 

●     Manipulating the conversation about their greatness. All or most of their conversations start and end with their accomplishments. They exaggerate things and accept praise from others also. They are more engaged in speaking about themselves and often turn out as a poor listener. So test this narcissistic quality when you talk with your partner. 

●     Depends on others to boost confidence. In contrast to how they behave in reality, they have lower self-confidence. They often rely on others to boost their confidence levels. 

●     Rude or less empathetic. They are apathetic to how you feel because of their behaviour. They even feel least bothered to ask for an apology and are intolerant to view from others’ perspectives. So, you can check out the personality trait by noticing if your partner cares about your long strenuous day. Or cares when they hurt you or not! 

●     Lacks many friends. They come in conflict with other perspectives. So, they commonly lack more friends as they are also inconsiderate about their feelings. They have limited friends because of their insecurity and the hypersensitive traits of a narcissist. 

●     Manipulating you at a toxic stage. The extreme form of manipulation in any healthy relationship takes the form of gaslighting. They won’t hesitate to tell open lies or have a habit of distorting reality. And as a side effect, some of the changes, like lesser confidence, hypersensitivity, and lesser self-worth, grab the personality of their partners.

Read more: Stretching Exercises For Thoracic Outlet Syndrome 

Quick Narcissist Personality Disorder Test 

Even if you are unsure and often question, am I a narcissist? Then, try out the quick NPD test. Below we have laid out ten questions, and among them, if six answers are yes, then you have minor NPD; 7-8 answers with a yes response are moderate NPD behaviour.

Those with an extreme Narcissist personality disorder will get 9 or all 10 questions answered as yes. 

  • Are you good at influencing your friends or not? 
  • Do you think that everything surrounding you will run as per you? 
  • Do you like to lead a conversation every time? 
  • Is it okay for you to lose an argument? 
  • Do you feel sorry when you hurt others’ sentiments / do you think they deserve what they are feeling? (yes for the first option, no for choosing the second option) 
  • Do you find it pleasing when you manipulate others? 
  • Do you find it appealing to constantly gaze at your face in the mirror? 
  • Do you enjoy being the center of attention every time? 
  • Ever realized being arrogant in any conversation unless someone else makes you realize it? 
  • Do you feel envious of others or think others envy you?

However, note that the above narcissism test should not be taken as a professional diagnostic tool. It’s a simple behaviour test that gives a general idea about your partner’s personality. 

The Treatment for your Narcissistic Partner

When you get confirmed over whether am I dating a narcissist, it’s time to make your partner realize the same through treatments and counselling. Often, the disorder victims realize their problems from the tender age of 7-8 and still lack knowledge of how to cure such problems.

That’s the issue with mental or cognitive issues where there are no precise solutions to problems. However, you can start treating such behaviour of your partner by following the below measures- 

  • Help your partner develop realistic goals for their life. 
  • Every time you criticize them, make them realize that it’s okay to get criticism. 
  • Make them recognize both their strength and weaknesses of theirs. 
  • Engage your partner in maintaining cordial relationships with co-workers and people. 
  • Encourage them to make more friends.
  • Convince them to attend talk therapy, where behavioural patterns such as relating with others through talking are taught. 
  • Make them a compliment to acknowledge others’ accomplishments too. 

Your partner, above all, has to learn more about their driving emotions and why they despise others and have to control their competitive nature from the initial stage of NPD itself. 

How Dating a Narcissist Changes You? 

There are two sides that tell the story of the after-effects of being in a narcissistic relationship. The immediate negative impact is emotionally traumatic, and you face issues of lower self-esteem anxiety, become a loner and suffer from insecurity. 

The only good side is that as a survivor of an abusive relationship, you may start developing compassion for others. As a sufferer, there builds more respect for others in your heart. 

The Final Call 

From an outsider’s perspective, it’s difficult even to imagine the position of being in a relationship with a narcissist. Moreover, am I dating a narcissist? The question gets trickier because there are several stages of narcissist disorders.

If your partner is in the initial or moderate stage of the problem and you think you can handle him or her, then you may sustain the relationship. Otherwise, it’s always better to come out of an abusive relationship when it does not work! 

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q.1. What does dating a narcissist feel like?

Answer- Dating a narcissist is not easy as the other partner constantly has to adjust to their irritating and disgusting self-important attitude. If your lover is a narcissist, then he lacks empathy towards you, always diverts a topic in their favour, has a stronger sense of entitlement, and is envious of others. 

Q.2. What does a narcissist act like in a relationship?

Answer- Being in a narcissistic relationship is about constant adjustments. A narcissistic individual would gaslight his partner’s thoughts and try to convert every topic of discussion to speaking about his accomplishments. They care less about others’ sentiments and turn out arrogant. 

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